LDR

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LDR, or Long Distance Relationships, refer to a type of relationship (often romantic and/or sexual in nature) that in the context of BDSM often have D/s or SM components. LDR's pose an additional challenge that due to distance cause a barrier to physical touch as a difficulty experienced by all partners in that it is not as readily available as it otherwise might be if the participants lived in closer proximity.

Other challenges may exist such as time zone differences and long distance challenges can be temporary or relatively permanent.

Best Practices Potential Solutions:

While physical limitations exist for LDRs, many things can be done to assist

  • Skype: Use Skype or some other free messaging service to connect with your partner for most things (giving D/s orders/assignments, reporting/journaling, monitoring, chatting, shared movies, videos, articles/books, and TV shows, shared board or video games, shared cooking and meal time, voyeurism for sex acts, etc.). Please note that Skype offers video conferencing and shared screen technology, allowing for sharing of a lot of various experiences. This is sometimes known as Cyber Domination.
  • Alternate Sources: Suggest getting certain physical needs met outside of the relationship such as SM play or sex.
  • Communication on the Run: Phone calls and Texting can be great for communicating when on the go and one cannot participate with a camera on Skype.
  • Sexual Solutions: Mutual Masturbation on camera or phone sex options are most traditional, though today some long distance sex toys such as the [we vibe 4+] allow partners to trigger sex toys across great distances using smart phone technology.
  • Physical Placeholders: With touch being a restricted sense, sometimes it can help to have a physical replacement in the place of a person's absence. Some examples include a Teddy bear with shirt with the scent of a partner from gentle use, a pair of panties or other personal objects of sentiment.
  • Quality time vs quantity time: It can be habitual to spend routine time with a partner that is long distance, but it is important to set boundaries as to when time can be spent, and to make the most of the time spent together, rather than to spend time connecting in ways that are not beneficial to either partner.