Play Parties are scheduled, generally private events, that are conducted in an area designed for Play (usually a dungeon), often where several scenes may be conducted at once at different play stations. Generally a medium or larger sized play party will have a Host, Medical Staff, Dungeon Monitor and possibly a House Dom.
No two parties will have identical rules and etiquette but this guide will be a great preparation for most parties you might go to. It is wise to post rules and educate all attendees and DMs on the rules to ensure they are followed.
- Do not discuss the venue or it's private occurrences outside of the venue, to include it's name, location and purpose unless you are otherwise told to do so by the venue owners or staff with exception to serious consent violations.
- You do not have to Consent to Play if you don't want to, it is fine just to watch.
- Some dungeons have theme parties and dress protocols. Inquire about these before you arrive.
- Do not offer to buy or sell sex in any territories where this practice isn't explicitly legal.
- Be sure to rest, eat and properly hydrate in advance if you plan to engage in any sort of BDSM Play.
- Do not arrive under the effects of intoxicants, most venues ban the use of any inebriating substances on the premises.
- Ask about parking, a potential preferred dress code, and other possible restrictions before leaving for your destination. In many cases there may be vanilla people near or outside of the venue and you may be asked not arrive at the party wearing fetish clothing. In these cases a changing room is often provided.
- Ask about the house rules if they are not clearly made available to you upon admittance, always respect these rules and ask for clarification where needed.
- Consider asking for a tour and being introduced to the staff as well as inquiring about special equipment use and reservation upon your first visit.
- Vetting processes, entry fees, picture ID validation, equipment inspection, temporary surrender of cell phones/contraband, and waivers are all common place. Do not be surprised if you experience one or more of these conditions of entry. please note: it is not wise to require cell phones be surrendered as many emergency personnel or people with children may need access to them. More commonly it is better to restrict cell phones to one private area for texting/talking and have DMs police cell phone use to ensure cell phones are not used in restricted areas. It is also important to have the time available or to allow a peek at the cell phone in a pocket or satchel to check the time for those that need to be aware of the time.
- Apply all principles of general munch etiquette except where otherwise noted (such as concerning dress codes).
- Do not interrupt the scenes of others. Do not walk or talk near their scenes.
- Consider that the environment, for many people, is highly sexualized and that people are often intentionally putting themselves in physically and emotionally vulnerable spaces. As such they are likely to be far more sensitive than usual and what is OK outside the dungeon even with that person's consent, such as touching or jokingly teasing, may cause them to be upset. This is especially true during a period right after a scene.
- Most places allow watching a scene in progress, however it is impolite to gawk and leer with sexual intent without the explicit consent of those involved in the scene.
- Do not join a scene even if you see people walking up and joining in. They were prearranged as part of the negotiations. Unless someone inside the scene explicitly invites you, don't approach it.
- If you experience a consent violation or witness something you believe to be patently unsafe, inform the DM or venue owner.
- Be sure to properly Negotiate before entering a Scene.
- If you are a top that is new to the venue, expect that you might be asked to play with a house Bottom or have a DM watch your first few scenes to ensure that you understand how to play safely and comply with the venue rules and guidelines.
- Do not perform any sort of Edge play without explicit permission from a DM or venue owner.
- Do not borrow, touch or use the private equipment or human property (as designated by a Collar) of others without explicit permission from the owner.
- Do not monopolize space, furniture, or equipment, allow others a chance to utilize the party features.
- If practicing gunge, touching of the genitals or penetration of an orifice, or any other type of "messy play" is allowed, utilize a barrier when practicing to include when using equipment and furniture for these functions.
- Clean up after yourself. Wipe down all equipment and furniture used after the scene concludes. Utilize trash and recycling receptacles as appropriate. Clean your personal items before using them on someone else.
- If you experience a consent violation tell the person that is violating you immediately, if it is egregious, report the incident to a dungeon monitor or other venue staff.
- Enjoy yourself, make some new friends and have some wonderful experiences!