Protocol

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A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic (such as a power exchange relationship).

Protocols are a set of governing rules that dictate the body, behavior and attitudes through an enforced code of behavior and/or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group,community, or interpersonal dynamic.

Protocols are often referred to those found within a power exchange relationship. The reason there is no set rules about universal protocols is because every power exchange relationship is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship.

Best Practices indicate that it is unreasonable to expect that others should or must respect your particular set of protocols if you have not negotiated for such things with them.

Invisible Protocols

Invisible protocols are protocols that occur in a method that is stealthy and difficult to detect when compared to a typical vanilla environment. Usually invisible protocols are used to practice power exchange in areas where stealth is required, or as an enhanced communication technique that allows complex information and concepts to be transferred quickly.

These protocols and rituals see frequent use with couples that have children, those practicing D/s in public and not wanting to alert others or force them to see something non-consensual, or when wishing to enjoy a well trained slave.

Honorifics

An honorific title is a word or expression with connotations conveying esteem or respect when used in addressing or referring to a person. Honorifics are one of the most common types of protocols used in BDSM. An honorific is often a title such as "Sir", "Mistress" or whatever title the D-type prefers to assign within the power exchange dynamic. Typically an honorific will be used while in scene or during times when invisible protocols are not necessary for 24/7 dynamics, and will be used to start or end a passage of speech, or both start and end a passage of speech.

Rituals

A ritual is a solemn ceremony that exists within a power exchange dynamic consisting of a series of actions performed (usually by the s-type) according to a prescribed order set by the d-type. Unlike a protocol, a ritual has a specific physical action associated with it as well as a triggering mechanism, where as a protocol can simply be a directive to govern behavior.

See also conditioning.

Some Typical Types of Rituals

Rituals can cover any topic the D-type so desires, however typical rituals might involve things such as:

  • Greetings
  • Opening Doors
  • Object Presentation
  • Drink Service
  • A Mantra
  • Collaring or Leashing

and anything else of importance to a particular D-type.

Mantra

A mantra is a ritualized, solemn and formulaic utterance. Most times mantras are used as positive affirmations that are triggered at specific times of day or under certain specific conditions. Mantras are often used to help reinforce conditioning and can be also be a mild form of hypnosis. A mantra may have other specific physical actions associated with it aside from just speech to help reinforce the mantra.

Best Practices: How to create your own protocols

To develop some starter protocols as a D-type, consider what things you value and what small niceties might make your life easier and more enjoyable. Then discuss them with your partner and negotiate the terms of these protocols. When creating rituals and protocols, ensure they have the following criteria:

A ritual or protocol should be...

  • able to be consistently maintained with little or preferably no Dominant maintenance.
  • practical or it will not see regular use.
  • assist with facilitating and enriching the s-type headspace and D/s relationship rather than detracting from them.
  • avoid boredom and preferably guard against it.
  • able to fall within RACK or SSC guidelines as well as negotiated limits.

With that information you will be able to create your own rewarding protocols with your partner, provided you know what it is that you want and like, and if you don't, it's important to get to know yourself if you intend on directing your s-type in how to please you.