Difference between revisions of "Consent"

From BDSM Wiki
Redirect page
Jump to: navigation, search
[unchecked revision][unchecked revision]
(Consent Violation)
(Redirected page to Category:Consent)
 
(31 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
Consent, in the realm of [[BDSM]], is an informed, uncoerced, enthusiastic, revocable permission for something to happen. Revocable means that consent can be withdrawn, by any party, at any time.
+
#redirect[[:Category: Consent]]
  
When an activity takes place with the consent of all participants, the activity is said to be consensual.
 
 
According to the [[NCSF]], "Consent is... [sic] an informed, voluntary agreement by two or more people to engage in a particular BDSM activity or to enter into a BDSM, [[D/s]] or [[M/s]] [[relationship]]".[https://ncsfreedom.org/images/stories/pdfs/Consent%20Counts/CC_Docs_New_011513/ConsentStatement.pdf [1]].
 
 
== Levels of Consent ==
 
 
*''Implied consent'' is a controversial form of consent which is not expressly granted by a person, but rather inferred from a person's actions and the facts and circumstances of a particular situation (or in some cases, by a person's silence or inaction). [[Best Practices]] indicates to avoid instances of implied consent.
 
*''Express consent'' is clearly and unmistakably stated, rather than implied. It may be given in writing, by speech (orally), or non-verbally, e.g. by a clear gesture such as a nod. Non-written express consent not evidenced by witnesses or an audio or video recording may be disputed if a party denies that it was given.
 
*''Informed consent'' in medicine is consent given by a person who has a clear appreciation and understanding of the facts, implications, and future consequences of an action. The term is also used in other contexts.
 
*''Unanimous consent'', or general consent, by a group of several parties (e.g., an association) is consent given by all parties.
 
 
== Consent Violation ==
 
 
Just as there are different levels of consent, others may have different threshholds for consent violation. Violation of consent doesn't even require touch; it can include invading someone's personal space, using certain language with someone, or expecting someone to use certain language or obey certain etiquette. There is a huge spectrum of consent violations, from personal space invasions to [[rape]] and assault. Despite the varying degrees of perceived "severity" throughout the spectrum of consent violation, all consent violations are serious matters.
 
 
If you have had your consent violated, consider discreetly reporting the behavior to the individual either privately or with a third party present, or to a presiding authority figure such as a [[DM]].  If the violator is not informed of the consent violation they will have no opportunity to accept responsibility for their behavior and make correction; that in mind, it is your choice as to whether or not to tell someone about a consent violation.  Expect to provide the following details if you should choose to report the violation:
 
 
* Was the behavior in the context of a negotiated scene?
 
* Is this is a negotiated hard limit violation? Was the house safeword ignored?
 
* Are there any witnesses to the negotiation? To the scene? To the Interaction?
 
* Did you tell the person that they violated your consent? If not, why not?
 
* Would you like the opportunity to discuss this with a third party present with the accused? If not, why not?
 
* What would you like to see done to help ensure this doesn't happen again?
 
* Is there anything we can do to make you feel more comfortable?
 
 
It is imperative you have this information available as without it there is little anyone can do to help you resolve the situation satisfactorily.  Also recognize that while you may have had your consent violated, the job of a presiding authority is not to presume guilt or innocence for any party, and that while you may have had your consent violated, they have vested interest in preventing gossip, character assassination and false allegations as well as protecting the consent of everyone, which can make their job very difficult so please be patient and understanding as they work to help keep the community safe.
 
 
If you are told you have violated someone's consent (whether accidentally or out of lack of information or forgetfulness) be sure to:
 
 
*Make available an opportunity for them to speak with you and air the greivance either publicly, privately and possibly with a third party mediator to protect those involved.
 
*Verbalize what has been done wrong as you understand it.
 
*Make an immediate genuine apology
 
*Make reasonable efforts to do right by them and correct any harm inflicted.
 
*Make serious learning efforts concerning methods and techniques of how to not repeat that behavior in the future.
 
 
Doing so can go a long way to correct the situation.
 
 
It is always good to be aware that every person's [[boundaries]] deserve equal respect. Best Practices indicate that it is proper etiquette to ask before touching anybody. This also goes for calling people anything other than their given name or pronoun or standing or sitting within a foot or two of a person. 
 
 
'''See also''' [[Negotiation]] and [[CNC]].
 
 
== Hurt VS. Harm ==
 
 
For many participating in [[SM]] pain is a goal of their [[play]].
 
 
[[Best Practices]] indicates:
 
 
Those that claim [[BDSM Rights| the right to decide for themselves what sexual activities they will partake in]], including pain play, must recognize the rights which they claim come with a heavy load of responsibility. One who is not prepared to accept that responsibility should never pick up an implement to [[top]] with for an [[SM]] [[scene]]. Tops are responsible for the health and safety of their partners and themselves, and bottoms too are responsible for themselves and communicating with full disclosure to their partners.  Be sure to research and calculate [[RACK| informed levels of risk]] as well as start [[low and slow]] when trying a new activity. Remember, it is okay to  cause pain in a consensual fashion, but not to do damage which does not readily and quickly heal.
 
 
== Consent and Sexual Activity ==
 
 
Sexual consent plays an important role in defining what sexual assault is, since sexual activity without consent by all parties is considered rape. Children below a certain age, the "age of consent", are deemed not to be able to give valid consent as understood in law to sexual acts in most jurisdictions. Within the literature concerning sexual activity and consent there is no consensus on a strict definition of the term consent or how it should be communicated. Consent must be voluntary and not obtained by coercion or threats. Consent can be revoked at any moment. [[Best Practices]] indicate to always very explicitly [[Negotiation|negotiate]] all forms of interaction in a [[Scene]] before it begins, but especially so concerning sexual conduct.
 
 
[[Category:Theory]]
 
[[Category:Theory]]

Latest revision as of 21:10, 3 September 2014