Consent

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Consent, in the realm of BDSM, is an informed, uncoerced, enthusiastic, revocable permission for something to happen. Revocable means that consent can be withdrawn, by any party, at any time.

When an activity takes place with the consent of all participants, the activity is said to be consensual.

According to the NCSF, "Consent is... [sic] an informed, voluntary agreement by two or more people to engage in a particular BDSM activity or to enter into a BDSM, D/s or M/s relationship".[1].

Levels of Consent and Consent Violation

  • Implied consent is a controversial form of consent which is not expressly granted by a person, but rather inferred from a person's actions and the facts and circumstances of a particular situation (or in some cases, by a person's silence or inaction). Best Practices indicates to avoid instances of implied consent.
  • Express consent is clearly and unmistakably stated, rather than implied. It may be given in writing, by speech (orally), or non-verbally, e.g. by a clear gesture such as a nod. Non-written express consent not evidenced by witnesses or an audio or video recording may be disputed if a party denies that it was given.
  • Informed consent in medicine is consent given by a person who has a clear appreciation and understanding of the facts, implications, and future consequences of an action. The term is also used in other contexts.
  • Unanimous consent, or general consent, by a group of several parties (e.g., an association) is consent given by all parties.

Just as there are different levels of consent, others may have different threshholds for consent violation. Violation of consent doesn't even require touch; it can include invading someone's personal space, using certain language with someone, or expecting someone to use certain language or obey certain etiquette. There is a huge spectrum of consent violations, from personal space invasions to rape and assault. Despite the varying degrees of perceived "severity" throughout the spectrum of consent violation, all consent violations are serious matters. If you violate someone's consent accidentally whether out of lack of information or forgetfulness, be sure to make an immediate, genuine apology and recognize what has been done wrong.

It is always good to be aware that every person's boundaries deserve equal respect. Best Practices indicate that it is proper etiquette to ask before touching anybody. This also goes for calling people anything other than their given name or pronoun or standing or sitting within a foot or two of a person.

See also CNC.

Consent and Sexual Activity

Sexual consent plays an important role in defining what sexual assault is, since sexual activity without consent by all parties is considered rape. Children below a certain age, the "age of consent", are deemed not to be able to give valid consent as understood in law to sexual acts in most jurisdictions. Within the literature concerning sexual activity and consent there is no consensus on a strict definition of the term consent or how it should be communicated. Consent must be voluntary and not obtained by coercion or threats. Consent can be revoked at any moment. Best Practices indicate to always very explicitly negotiate all forms of interaction in a Scene before it begins, but especially so concerning sexual conduct.